A teacher of mine asked me the other day, “how possible do you think it would be for you to be completely, unwaveringly kind, to every person you come across, including yourself, all the time, no matter what, for the rest of your life?” My first thought was “ha! not very possible, obviously,” but then as I thought for another moment or two, I started to wonder why. Not why it’s so hard to be kind, but why do we underestimate our ability for kindness, and write it off like it’s socially acceptable to be unkind? The more I thought about this, the more I realized that kindness, and kind action, have nothing to do with personality and everything to do with living a conscious life.
Committing to a life of kindness and non-judgement is a choice.
I pondered how kindness includes more than just acts of generosity, or words that are thoughtful and considerate, but it also means having kind thoughts, too - towards others, and towards ourselves. This also means being completely non-judgemental. That makes it feel like a LOT of work… it’s challenging enough to control our words and actions, let alone our thoughts - but here’s why it’s so important. If everyone in our society strived for this ubiquitous kindness, wouldn’t the world be such an incredible place to be? Would everyone feel safer to explore their dreams, to learn, to grow, and to even to fail, knowing that others around them would meet them with kindness?
What if we became that safe place for ourselves, first? Then our partners, then our friends and family, and maybe even total strangers? It’s not easy - but I believe it is one of the most important things we can commit ourselves to.
So how do we get there? It comes back to living a conscious life. This means having the ability to be completely focused in the moment - speaking, acting, and even thinking from that place of stillness within which we discover when we meditate. This place of stillness is a place where we can create kindness. Meditation is called “a practice” because it is a way to practice, or rehearse, our ability to have higher awareness in our daily lives. This is conscious living.
A great way to begin increasing your awareness is by noticing your thoughts and actions when you are in the following situations:
When you have made a mistake, failed at something, or it feels like you’re not good enough, are you kind to yourself?
When your partner, family member, or friend has disappointed you or fallen short of your expectations, do you still meet them with kindness?
When you are in a crowd of strangers, and you notice people who are different from you, are your thoughts critical or judgemental?
How about when you notice people whom you think are more beautiful, in better shape, or better than you? Are you still kind to yourself?
When someone is unkind to you, is it possible for you to recognize that they are the one who is suffering, and meet them with kindness in return?
So, it’s time for me to ask you this question now.
Is it possible, for you to be completely, unwaveringly kind, to every person you come across, including yourself, all the time, no matter what, for the rest of your life?
Ⓒ Jennifer Helwing Wellness Coaching 2022
I help my clients to create better lives for themselves by changing from within. Even when life doesn’t change, we can - and that is true freedom. If you’d like to find out more about how we can work together, visit jenniferhelwingwellness.com to book a session or find out more information. I’d love to work with you!